The Seed Unplanted

[Alumette]

Those hollow, frightened eyes peered up at her again. Hundreds of small children, between the ages of six months to 6 years, crowded around her, grabbing at her clothing, holding their hands out in supplication, crying. Their swollen bellies were in sharp contrast to the pronounced relief of their ribcages. “Please, miss, food. Please? Grace, please.” thousands of young, raspy voices called to her, in languages she did not know, but she could understand. They called her by name, they knew her. They were crying out for Grace. Mothers with skeletal babies at their sagging, milkless breasts looked at her with a quiet and resigned plea. Hope was absent here, and despite her divine mandate, Grace could not feed them all. She could not even feed one.

The sound of the alarm clock ripped her back to Founders Falls. Grace’s eyes fluttered open and she squinted in the morning light, slapping the alarm button. Her heart was heavy with despair upon waking, for the fifth time this week.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Dominic lay next to her, in peaceful slumber, his breathing even and deep. Grace could not rid herself of the afterimages of suffering in the world. Night after night, the goddess saw fit to carry her to the places in the world where she would witness horrible human suffering: starvation, terror, abuse, war, disease. What was worse, she was beginning to feel what these people were feeling. Coupled with the overwhelming sensations of helplessness and despair that assailed her upon waking, it was enough to make her not want to sleep at all. And yet deep inside herself she knew that her presence in their misery was a comfort to them. They seemed to know her on sight, despite the fact that they had likely never heard of Paragon City or its superpowered inhabitants. It was not Alumette they recognized. It was Grace.

She had told no one about these dreams, for a while thinking they were simply related to overwork and stress. But as time went on, they became more vivid, and more emotionally entangling. She felt compelled to experience them and at the same time was loath to go back to that despair. Grace glanced back over her shoulder at Dominic once more, peaceful and comfortable, enjoying a well-deserved sleep. He was the last person she wanted to tell.

And so it was fortuitous that she ran into Enigmus while on patrol. Enigmus was an old friend; one she didn’t see often, but when she did, it was always meaningful somehow. Almost eerily so. After a few runs through the city sewers, rounding up criminals, Grace asked Enigmus to meet her at a café to talk. There she told him about the dreams, her eyes red from tears. He listened attentively, and then gently formed his thoughts.

[sheld0n]

"It's alright…", Enigmus said warmly, gently placing his hand on the side of her head.
"I know this must be very hard for you, as is every first step ever taken.", he added, after a minute of reflection.
"These dreams are very important. They are a sign that this is the right time to become closer with the Goddess. Now you simply have to show that you are ready to accept the implications of that.
The path you were destined for is not an easy one, but it bears great importance.
As unpleasant as they may be, you need these dreams to prepare you for what is to come.
Like the steel of a scalpel, you must be hardened before the doctor can use you to save lives."
Enigmus knew what Alumette's reply would be, but he preferred to hear her say it.

[Alumette]

"I don't understand," she said. "I know She wants me to protect and give comforting sanctuary to the hurt, the lost, and the forgotten. That is Her mandate, and my purpose. How can she possibly expect me to do that for the whole world?"

Alumette's face took on an expression of grim frustration. "I hate Her, Enigmus," she said through gritted teeth. "If she's this goddess, why doesn't she just fly around fixing everything? Why does she have to use me? Take away my choice? Make me do her bidding? I'm only human! This body, for all its strength, will die before I've even made a dent in what she's showing me! She never asked me if I wanted to do this! She just hopped right on into my body when my mother died." By now Grace was near tears, and the few patrons in the sparsely-populated coffee shop were beginning to glance in her direction. "I don't understand what she wants me to do, or how she can expect me to be able to do it."

[sheld0n]

"If she didn't deem you capable of performing this task, she would not have brought this onto you.", Enigmus replied.
"You are leaving the forest and entering on a clear path, and the vast sky can be overwhelming." he said to the fear hidden in Alumette's eyes.

"Yes, it is likely that she could take away the suffering from this world, but wouldn't that trivialize our lives? As you very well know, there is no light without shadow. So is the case with struggle and accomplishment.
Keep in mind that even if you never had these dreams, their theme wouldn't be any less of a fact. You need to learn to remain calm when faced with these realities, before you can take the next step.
Your recent moves have shown that you are able to take care of mass-scale problems such as the ones you dream of.

"And you do have a choice," Enigmus smiled. "You chose to be born into this family."
As he spoke, he felt Alumette's growing frustration and gently placed his hand on hers. "This is a good thing," he said. "Perhaps we should talk about this somewhere more private?"

[Alumette]

Gritting her teeth, Grace shook her head. She knew Enigmus was right. She knew what he was going to say even before he'd said it. Her training at MAGI had taught her as much, and Belisama's mythology was rife with references to those very ideas. Still, she didn't have to like it.

"It's all right," she said, "we can stay here." Most of the patrons had gone back to their own conversations, by now relatively inured to references to avatars, ancient goddesses, and magical powers. Or at least, if not inured, sufficiently weirded out to want to feign ignorance. Enigmus nodded and considered his petite, Provencale friend. "You know, I'm surprised you haven't gone to MAGI with this," he said gently.

"I don't trust anyone at MAGI except the Dream Doctor," she said. "Arguably he would be the ideal person to go to with this, seeing as how Her mythology is one of his hobbies. Unfortunately he's on sabbatical right now." Alumette fiddled with a sugar packet that had been left on the table of the cafe. She bit her lower lip in thought and added after a pause, "What do you mean, I chose to be born into this family?" She gazed at him with her maple-colored eyes, almost challenging him to tell her more.

[sheld0n]

"Yes, it was your decision.
The Beforelife is much like a turbulent ocean filled with unborn spirits.
The weaker ones feel lost in it. They drift, thrown about by the waves without a purpose, eventually ending up on the shores of birth that the currents carried them to.
The stronger spirits, however, can swim on their own. They are able to defy the waves and select the family they will be born to.
You, Grace, are most certainly a strong spirit." Enigmus smiled and let that idea sink in before he continued.

"The Dream Doctor is on a sabbatical, you say? Perhaps his absence wasn’t coincidental…" he thought out loud. "Yes, this is fortunate. With his relative lack of insight into the Plan, he could have made a mistake, and this time we cannot allow ourselves for mistakes."
"What plan? What do you mean? Why couldn’t the Dream Doctor help?" Grace asked.
"The Dream Doctor knows what’s in front of you by looking back at the path that you and your ancestors have treaded. Meanwhile, your particular situation is unique." Enigmus replied.
"But you still haven’t said what is this ‘Plan’ you talked about, though." Grace said anxiously.
Enigmus calmly tented his fingers. "The Plan is your purpose here. It is as much your final goal as it is the journey that leads to it. "
"Why do you always have to talk in riddles? I swear, it’s as if you and the Goddess had some sort of a conspiracy!" Grace exclaimed. There was a brief pause in the conversations of the patrons nearby.
"I’m only here to provide guidance." Enigmus said serenely. "Trust me, you’re doing very well so far."

[Alumette]

The words sank in with increasing gravity. His implication that she was destined to be the avatar she was was not a new one for her. That her role was predestined had been made plain to her from the beginning of her training: from the moment she met the Dream Doctor there outside the smoldering Empire nightclub, still handcuffed but standing outside the police car, and he'd looked at her more intensely than any other human being ever had and said simply, "Ah. She is found." Still, the idea that her destiny had been of her own choosing before birth was a new one, and she was still trying to wrap her brain around it.

Even so, it wasn't the air of destiny about it that bothered her, rather it was the phrases Enigmus used: this time we cannot allow ourselves mistakes, and your situation is unique, gave Grace pause. How could he possibly know? There was no way he could. No one knew. She hadn't told Dom, she'd been too afraid to. And the Dream Doctor didn't know--judging from the conversations they'd had when he seemed to take certain aspects of her future as a foregone conclusion. As far as Grace could tell, there were two people in all the world who knew: Grace herself, and Dr. Ann Hubbard.

Yet she knew Enigmus could see the future.

She thought better of bringing it up in any case.

"I'm only here to provide guidance..." Enigmus said. Grace chuckled a little, tilting her head to the side and appraising him.

"What, are you some kind of guardian angel or something?"

[sheld0n]

"That's a pretty way to call it." Enigmus smiled. "Let's just say I'm a friend...
But this is all very sudden. It was a lot of information to take in for one conversation. I’m sure you could use some time to think about it." He looked at her warmly.
"I’ll see you soon." He smiled once more and left the table, slowly walking towards the exit, but fading out into air before he touched the door.

[Alumette]

The lapping of the Red River’s current against the quais accompanied Grace’s footsteps as she walked home. She mulled over her conversation with Enigmus. He had lived up to his name, to say the least. She still couldn’t decide if he was being enigmatic because he had some sort of inside track information on the goddess that she didn’t, or if he didn’t fully understand Grace’s situation. Perhaps unwisely, she made an assumption of the latter, and tipped her hand a bit. No matter, it was very likely he already knew anyway. She replayed the conversation in her mind, trying to recall his reaction to the truth she’d revealed.

“She is preparing you, Grace. For the next level.”

“And what exactly is that?!” Grace asked, exasperated. It felt like they were going around in circles.

“Her work must continue,” he said. “As it has for centuries, one generation to the next, as your mother passed it on to you.”

Grace shook her head. “It can’t, Enigmus,” she said. “Not anymore.” He gave her a questioning look but said nothing. “It can’t because… I’m infertile.”

His reaction to this news was entirely unreadable, and not unexpectedly so.

She rounded the corner to her building and punched the entry code into the keypad. The setting sun cast a rosy glow over the flagstones on the walkway, playing off of the mist that rose from the fountains nearby. Grace sped up the stairs to her apartment. Dom was meticulously inspecting his rifle when she walked through the door. “Hey babydoll!” he grinned, pausing in his inspection to kiss her on the cheek. Despite her preoccupation, Grace gave him a warm smile. “How was your day?” he asked, suiting up into his armor.

She shrugged, nosing around in the fridge and the cupboards. “The usual,” she said. “Saved the water supply from Rikti contaminants, stopped half a dozen muggings, raised $2,000.00 for the Foundation, and rescued a kitten from a tree.” Notably there was no mention of dreams, meetings with precognitive beings, or the mysterious “next level.”

“Are you hungry?” Grace asked.

“Nah, I already ate,” Dom replied, gesturing towards an empty lasagna pan. He finished his preparations as Grace poured herself a glass of red wine. “The Major wants me to check out a Crey shipment that’s scheduled to come in to Independence Port later tonight,” Dom said, clipping a few gadgets onto his tac-belt and shouldering his rifle. He caressed her cheek and pulled her into a passionate kiss. “I’ll be home late,” he said, pulling his face mask down and activating the cloaking mechanism on his body armor. “Sweet dreams, babydoll,” his disembodied voice said as he vanished from the apartment and teleported across Williams Square.

Grace continued to replay the conversation with Enigmus in her mind. He was only speaking in riddles, not really telling her anything she didn’t already know. But he seemed to know so much more than he was letting on. Sipping her wine, she thought it was time to get a second opinion. She grabbed her comm. and called Alex King. If anyone would have insight into the magical detritus of her subconscious, it would be The Scarecrow King.

“Alex? It’s Grace. Do you have some time? I’d like to hear your opinion on something.”

Alex agreed, and after about an hour or so he was comfortably ensconced on her couch, sipping a glass of wine and listening to her recount her dreamtime events of the past week or so. She also filled him in on Enigmus’s theory, as indefinite as it was.

She deliberately failed to mention her infertility.

[Magna Harrier]

"Truth be told, Grace.... I know we've differing views on theology. It's just a consequence of how we've lived our lives." Alex was almost apologetic in tone... which was'nt an everyday occurance. "That in mind... you still interested in my opinion on the matter."

Grace gave him a grateful nod. "I could really use someone less.. involved."

Alex smiled, and then scowled a little as he began. " You know, Grace, that, as beloved as she is to you, your goddess does'nt exactly enjoy popular worship. It still amazes me that she's not convincing you to do more missionary work in tandem with these acts of kindess you're so into. Then again.." He pasued for a second. ".. I suppose that's why I've always trusted your judgement more than some of the other heroes with.. divine connections. She seems more interested in helping others than being worshipped for it. Still...."

"Still what?"

"Still.... she's not mortal. She's a goddess. And that means, frankly, that she isn't of this world. She's of the Hereafter... the Beyond.. Astral Plane.. whatever you want to label it as." Pause. Sip. "My point being, she..like all beings from the Great Beyond, requires us to do their 'bidding' for them, if they're to have any impact. Because, frankly... it's our world. Not theirs." He gave her a rather pointed look. Alex's views on theology were rather... complicated.

"Her restraint in gathering converts aside, she's shown little qualm in stearing your life for you, when it suited her needs... Jackson, for example. Although, one could hardly complain about the results. But, I fear...." Another pause, less apologetic.

"Out with it."

"Grace, I'm afraid your patron is growing greedy."

"What do you mean by...."

"I mean, she's got little to no worship base to speak of, and she's living vicariously off an avatar that was her's through a bloodline agreement. You're close to her only outlet into this world, and now that she's gotten you firmly in her grasp, like some mortal bag of potato chips, she can't eat just one."

"...huh?"

Alex sighed. "She's chipping away at you, bit by bit. Taking more and more of YOU, and adding more and more of HER. I'm sure you've gotten plenty of speeches about how the two are the same thing... but it's nonsense. There's only so much room.. up here..." he tapped his forehead, ".. and the mansions of our mind are'nt made with much in the way of guest rooms, if you catch my drift."

He continued. "As for Enigmus... frankly, it just makes clear what's going on here. When it became obvious that you might balk at having your... well, your life yanked out from under you, your patron apperantly decided to have him come along and feed you various kiddy bible camp lines about how this is all for the best, and destiny, and yada yada yada. I've seen used car salesmen with less obvious and simpering tactics. He may mean well, but a guardian angel he is NOT. He's got an agenda... either one handed to him.. or his own... and somehow, I gert the feeling neither of those possibilities involves you and Jackson growing old and happy together, driving each other nuts till eternity."

An odd look of warmth on his face. "Which, if you two are still engaged, is a goal that, by now, you should realize is the only one that really counts in this world."