Batman vs Normal Adjusted Human Being

[Solario]

In one corner we have the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader, the World's Greatest Detective, The Batman! Born into jetset society, poor malajusted Bruce Wayne started his life in 1939. Parents, Martha and Thomas Wayne, were gunned down in a filthy backalley by an unknown assailant after seeing The Mask of Zorro with their 6 year old child, Bruce. This event emotionally crippled him in the Oedipal stage, which left him with a skewed oedipal complex, a couple of million dollars and a loyal butler named Alfred. Bruce spent a good remainder of the rest of his childhood traveling the world, learning traits such as criminology, forensics, martial arts, gymnastics, disguise and Dance Dance Revolution. He also fights with ninjas and various other hobos. Bruce concluded that criminals were a "superstitious and cowardly lot", whereafter he proceeded to dress up like a big flying rodent. His entire motivation built on the fact, that his parents were killed in a critical stage of his development giving him a guilt complex to his father (for secretly wanting him dead, so he could take his place), but also because of his desire to become his father, a renowned doctor). Because his father was in general a philantrophist and healer, Bruce vowed to improve Gotham in his own way. By kick the sh*t out of some criminals, mainly ones dressed up as clowns (showing his own inherent fear of clowns), penguins and cats. (Though he primarily just likes to sleep with those currently.)

Now in the other corner we have Johnny Everyman. Johnny is 30'ish, an accountant and stuck in a deadend job, with no prospects of joy, women or money in his future. Johnny has never had any form of sever trauma, except the growning pains of teenagedom and reoccuring girlfriends with an affection for his best friend. Johnny lives in a cramp three room appartment across the hall from that psychotic catlady, not Selina Kyle, where a strange oder has emited the last couple of months. Though Johnny has never travelled the world and searched in all the shadows, he has picked up various traits through out his miserable pathetic life. Such as the "plotting of the deaths of his friends, coworkers and various people he meet on the street", the fake smile and the "Better not do anything illegal or I'll end up in federal-pound-me-in-the-ass-prison" attitude every healthy well-adjusted person needs in our super society.


Now let's get it on! Who wins?! (It can be anything ranging from a display of anger to a measuring of whose life is slightly less pathetic than the others.)



(Created out of sheer boredom, recently having watched Office Space and thinking about what, if anything, I can use my learning from psychology class to do.)

[Sun-Scarab]

the everyday guy can wear docker slacks, at least he'd beat bats at looking good.

[inkblaster]

Originally Posted by Sun-Scarab

the everyday guy can wear docker slacks, at least he'd beat bats at looking good.

Especially if they're the dockers with nanotechnology

[Krypto]

That article was a little unfair. Popular Science called and got ahold of a Customer Service Rep who obviously didn't know about the product. They don't know what makes the product, they just get paid to listen to bitchy customers.

[Sun-Scarab]

theres more points to the batman vs normal guy , like bats is rich. but this keeps poping up for me...
VS.

[Blackbat]

All Batman has to do is offer him a generous 401k benefit package and Johnny Everyman is finished.

[Krypto]

But then, all Johnny Everyman has to do is invite Bats over for some beer and Halo, and easily take Bats out while his eyes are glued to the TV.

[Stalking Shadow]

D: I would say not. I need to help other customers, ma'am. Can I ask how you got the number to call us today?

PS: 1-800-DOCKERS? Lucky guess.