Labyrinth

[MajorMarvel]

I dont know what it is but I have a strong urge too watch Jim Hensons Labyrinth O.o

I'm sitting at work humming Magic Dance

[Dynamo-Man]

Damn you and your powers of suggestion!

"Rock friend!"

/Luddo

[Stalking Shadow]

I saw this video from the guy who played David Bowie's hands, the contact juggler. I want to learn how to do that.

[Knightward]

Bah, it was all about the Dark Crystal back in the day, not the bulge in David Bowie's pants through that whole movie! :P

[bpphantom]

You remind me of the babe.

What babe?

The babe with the power.

What power?

The power of voodoo.

Who do?

You do.

What?

Remind me of the baaaaaabe.

[Sun-Scarab]

Labyrinth vs Dark Crystal .. FIGHT!

[The Widowed]

Labyrinth vs Dark Crystal .. FIGHT!
Labyrinth wins. Did you see that whirly-blade tunnelrunning apparatus that the goblins apparently built out of bicycle parts or something? That thing was awesome, man. It could puree a hundred Skekses without stopping to fish the bones out and unjam the gears, I bet. :thumbup:

[Titomancer]

Not to mention a goblin army with cannons. Plus Ludo and the rocks. And the mighty Sir Diddimus, and Ambrocious!

[The Widowed]

See, folks? Clearly Labyrinth had it going on. And even if the Skekses and Mystics and Gelflings all got together to kick David Bowie's ass, they'd never find the entrance to the place. Remember that part with the branch-off passage done up so that Sarah couldn't tell it from the surrounding wall? Yeah. Optical illusions rule. :chaku:

[Titomancer]

Dont forget Bowie's Bulge, and the fear associated with it.

[The Widowed]

My god, the Bulge of Terrifying Manliness. Why Sarah didn't quail in fear and abandon her quest at the sight of it...that girl must have some pretty steely resolve. Godlike, even.

[Titomancer]

"You have no power over me."

[Knightward]

See, folks? Clearly Labyrinth had it going on. And even if the Skekses and Mystics and Gelflings all got together to kick David Bowie's ass, they'd never find the entrance to the place. Remember that part with the branch-off passage done up so that Sarah couldn't tell it from the surrounding wall? Yeah. Optical illusions rule. :chaku:
Bah, Augrha could just toss her eye over and see the whole damn thing. And they could just wreck the place with hordes of gaarthim.

[Titomancer]

Oh come on, those Crystals that Bowie was slinging around could easily counter that eye. PLUS they can go all Moonwalker and defeat them with the power of a random musical number!

[The Widowed]

"You have no power over me."
Oh, but that didn't stop her from putting on a pretty dress and dancing with him to some tune that he composed himself, did it? :D

Bah, Augrha could just toss her eye over and see the whole damn thing. And they could just wreck the place with hordes of gaarthim.
But the goblins are whizzo shots with those cannons, man. The moment that eye comes anywhere near the Goblin King's realm, it's getting shot down. The goblins are that good. The Hordes of Gaarthim would do well not to underestimate the goblin kingdom.

And if the goblins should fail, the Hordes still have to deal with the master himself. And the Goblin King will not take the affront lightly. >:]

[The Widowed]

Oh come on, those Crystals that Bowie was slinging around could easily counter that eye. PLUS they can go all Moonwalker and defeat them with the power of a random musical number!
David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly > a bunch of Muppets :D

[The Widowed]

Okay, I'm sorry I killed the thread. You can come back now.

Here. Have a picture.

http://coh.tritonius.com/LabyrinthPic.jpg

[Titomancer]

You didnt kill it. You won.

[The Widowed]

Oh. Cool! The goblins have routed the Skeksis in a pitched battle!

Olde Tyme Goblin County Lemonade for everyone! Now with 25% more alcohol and marsh vapors! :D

[Titomancer]

*Takes off his head and dances around a fire*

[The Widowed]

Just don't let Hoggle have any of the lemonade. He gets loaded and he starts pissing all over the place....

And put that head back on! There are children pres...oh, who cares? Carry on. :)

[MajorMarvel]

isnt there a planned sequal too Dark Crystal?

[Titomancer]

I heard that too, somewhere. I kinda doubt it though.

[The Widowed]

*yanks on MajorMarvel's head*

Hey! His head doesn't come off!

[Titomancer]

*blows whistle* Shame on you, Wids. You know its against the rules to throw other people's heads.

[The Widowed]

I wasn't going to throw it. I was just going to...carry it around a little. Yeah. :)

[Dynamo-Man]

Labyrinth made me fall in love with Jennifer Connelly (which was further cemented by Career Opportunities). It's as if destiny spoke to me and said "There she is." We even share the same birthday. Not just the same day, but the same year and everything.

Cosmic, man...

::takes a long toke and passes it along::

[TroubleWolf]

I actually made Sir Didymus in a D&D game last year. He was a kobold who rode a dog into combat. Had a magic lance and everything. I don't remember all of his classes and everything, but he had a Druid level to get an animal companion (the dog), took levels in FIghter for mounted combat feats, had a feat called Natural Bond that improved his Effective Druid Level by 3... let's see... took levels in the Prestige Classes Beastmaster (Effective Druid Level increase), Wild Plains Outrider, and Halfling Outrider (DM allowed it because he loved the concept).

I had him wear Rhino Hide Armor, which gave him an extra 2d6 damage on a charge. With the feat Spirited Charge (Triple damage with a lance) and the armor, he was doing 5d6 damage plus strength when his mount charged. And since it was a riding dog, it got to bite the opponent on the way past, and make a trip attack if it landed the bite.

Damn, that was fun.

[/geek]

[Dynamo-Man]

I actually made Sir Didymus in a D&D game last year.
I think everyone has done this at one point or another.

[The Widowed]

I think everyone has done this at one point or another.
Not me. I did, however, make Erik the Cavalier from the old Dungeons & Dragons cartoons once.

With only a shield, some chainmail and no weapon, he didn't last long. :D

[Knightward]

Won already? Bah! Once the skesis and mystics merge into those shiney complete beings it's all over. Goblin armies < power over life and death. Not to mention anything the Crystal itself is capable of.

:P

[The Widowed]

Remember how the Skeksis wouldn't exactly merge willingly and the Mystics essentially had to sneak up behind their corresponding Skeksis and buttrape them blind?

Yep...another stroke of discord for the wily goblin hordes to exploit to their advantage. Send a harmless-looking messenger to inform the Skeksis of the Mystics' approach (which the Goblin King saw with the aid of a fancy little crystal ball), "remind" the Skeksis that the Mystics will only bring death and misfortune, then wait until the Skeksis are in the thick of a pitched battle to repel the advancing Mystics (who are only there to fulfill a prophecy and merge with the Skeksis, of course) before sending in the goblins and their machines, all charged with the task of crushing both weakened sides before they can come to any sort of truce or resolution.

So clearly that merge will never happen if Jareth has a say in the matter. >:]

[Meltman]

Hmmm, I've never actually seen either of these movies...I might have to rent them sometime.

[Knightward]

Methinks you may be underestimating the Skesis fighting prowess and overestimating the goblin prowess. Sure, they have lots of cannons. How often do they hit their target? When their city was overrun by boulders, how many did they manage to shoot? And when they charged with their pikes, how much did it hurt the big red guy whose name I forget? Whereas Skeses have those badass swords that 1) look friggin awesome, 2) they can cut through stone with, and 3) superheats the stone it cuts through! Sure David Bowie can send his goblin hordes, but much like any mastermind finds (particularly those who activate gang war, for the sake of numbers), throwing a whole lot of idiots at the problem won't necessarily solve it.

So you have goblins firing everywhere except where they want, meanwhile the skesis have their badass swords and are tearing through the goblin armies like Sauron at the beginning of Lord of the Rings. Sure the goblins also have giant machines and robots, but it would only take one or two swings from some skesis (preferably with others shouting "TRIAL BY STONE!") to tear them up some and overheat the machinery.

As for dealing with David Bowie and his potatoe-in-pants power, I would suspect that in his messing with time and Escher dungeon, it would give the mystics time needed to catch up on the skesis and distract them enough to not notice them until it was time for the merge and bam, game over.

:P

[bpphantom]

Hmmm, I've never actually seen either of these movies...I might have to rent them sometime.

Filthy pagan! *p-tooie*

[The Widowed]

Methinks you may be underestimating the Skesis fighting prowess and overestimating the goblin prowess. Sure, they have lots of cannons. How often do they hit their target? When their city was overrun by boulders, how many did they manage to shoot?
Closer examination of that battle will reveal that a terrible monsoon had blown in from the sea beyond the Bog of Eternal Stench just two days prior to the battle, with horizontal wind and rain dampening the black powder reserves and soiling the bores of the cannons with debris. Either of these factors alone would have altered the trajectories of the cannon shots unpredictably, and given sufficient time the goblins would have been able to clean the cannon bores and replace the black powder with fresh stock...time which they were ultimately denied. The stench carried with the monsoon also sent a third of the standing goblin army to the infirmary with various respiratory maladies, cutting the goblins' manpower considerably. Unfortunately, there are a lot of chores and duties involved with maintaining a fortification of that size, and with a pressing invasion from Ludo's friends the goblins were forced to make do with what they had.

Alas, monsoons are hardly a predictable force of nature; The Skeksis certainly couldn't rely on them for strategic purposes. Sarah and her friends simply got lucky that day.

And when they charged with their pikes, how much did it hurt the big red guy whose name I forget?
Creatures of Ludo's species are a peculiar hybrid of mammal and rock. In addition to lending them a paranormal affinity with earth and stone, this also grants these creatures superior resistance to physical injury and enough strength to wrestle a young elephant to the ground. Though gentle and friendly, this species nonetheless makes formidable combatants.

Their reproductive habits occur too infrequently to make the breeding and training of these creatures a viable option for warfare, and they consume far too many resources for a typical army to support. This explains why Jareth the Goblin King doesn't have a standing platoon of Ludo-things ready to tear apart an enemy advance at a moment's notice. The idea has occurred to him, but it's far more practical to stick with the goblins and their machines. One thing is for certain: The Skeksis certainly don't have these creatures at their disposal, do they? >:]

Whereas Skeses have those badass swords that 1) look friggin awesome, 2) they can cut through stone with, and 3) superheats the stone it cuts through! Sure David Bowie can send his goblin hordes, but much like any mastermind finds (particularly those who activate gang war, for the sake of numbers), throwing a whole lot of idiots at the problem won't necessarily solve it.
Fortunately--as if you couldn't guess--Jareth the Goblin King is a master wizard with powers of psychomancy and divination channelled through his numerous focii, crystal balls and otherwise. In his sorcerous arsenal he possesses the potent Spell of the Brittle Rime, through which the weapons of any enemies within the spell's area of effect become incredibly cold and fragile, often shattering into useless metal shards at the first impact. And following the Spell of the Brittle Rime with a Spell of Driving Hail can swiftly strip an opposing force of their armaments....

Even lesser enchanted weapons are susceptible to the Bitter Rime effect. Granted, the spell's area of effect is a narrow cone 80 feet long and 20 feet broad at the far end, but that's what chokepoints are for. And the Goblin King has been itching for a chance to cast it again; Teenaged girls and inept mongrel-riding knights are hardly worth the mana drain that the spell demands.

So you have goblins firing everywhere except where they want, meanwhile the skesis have their badass swords and are tearing through the goblin armies like Sauron at the beginning of Lord of the Rings. Sure the goblins also have giant machines and robots, but it would only take one or two swings from some skesis (preferably with others shouting "TRIAL BY STONE!") to tear them up some and overheat the machinery.
Ahhh, but they haven't tasted the power of the master yet, have they? Wizardry is a short way of saying "You Skeksis freaks won't be draining my essence." >:]

As for dealing with David Bowie and his potatoe-in-pants power, I would suspect that in his messing with time and Escher dungeon, it would give the mystics time needed to catch up on the skesis and distract them enough to not notice them until it was time for the merge and bam, game over.
But by the time you're in the Escher dungeon, it's too late. There, the master sees all, knows all and controls all. The innocence of youth is ultimately his one weakness, and the Skeksis are in pitifully short supply of teenaged girls. By the time the Mystics arrived at their languid pace, each of the Skeksis would be dead or locked away forever in some dark oubliette or another.

So yes, game over...for the forces of the Dark Crystal. :lol:

[Knightward]

The battle continues!

Though why and how it ended up in the Labyrinth I do not know. How the differing biologies of the two would be capable of coexisting in the same atmosphere I also don't know, but let's run on the assumption that they do, or else there's no fight in the first place. There doesn't seem to be technology on the planet that could accomodate that; and while Augrha has considerable astrological knowledge, I don't think she could make a shroom-powered rocketship (since it couldn't possibly be anything else). The only beings capable of interstellar travel would be the combine mystic-skesis, and I doubt they'd care much for Jareth or his little kingdom. :P

Thus for the battle to take place, Jareth would have to do the unthinkable and go on the offensive. This would present a plethora of severe handicaps for the goblin army. Given that the world of the Dark Crystal has three suns in its sky of varying sizes and ages, it would make the climate very, very hot. Quite likely it would be far too hot for them to operate effectively, while the natives have no problem with the climate. Such a balancing of gravities would play havok on an army accustom to a single sun's pull on a planet. Such forces would make the planet operate very, very differently. Infact, given the numerological obsession with the number three and the shape of a triangle, it can even be speculated that the planet itself has something of a triangular shape. No one used to a spherical world could handle that well.

But you may argue, goblins aren't technically from Earth, they're mythical creatures that are real in Jareth's plane of existance. The answer is that they are real enough to come to Earth, and are born from the imaginations of people on Earth. Thus they are subject to the same adaptive strengths and weaknesses. So they're stuck on a planet where it's uncomfortably warm, there is no true night due to those three damned suns (making the troops sleep deprived and weary), and the gravity of the place is wrecking hell on their balance, bodily operations (blood flow, muscle control/relaxation, and other things that are designed for Earth-like gravity), and oh yes, unfamiliar territory.

The locals know the way the weather works here, and depending on how sheltered they are, are familiar with the flora, fauna, and all the many things inbetween.

While Jareth's magical skills are powerful, his are ultimately based in a place of personal power. While a veritable god in his own personal kingdom, his power is considerably less when he is away from it. And he is so very far from home now. The mystics have a more, for lack of a better word, druidic approach to their magicks. While not capable of godly feats, they need only the preparations and tools for their spells. A sigil drawn in the sand here, a tossing of the stones, and you're set wherever you are. Even if driven from their moutain home, they are just as much a threat to the goblin king anywhere else.The skesis, drawing their strength from the corrupted energy of the dark crystal, are likely capable of their own vile and dark magicks best not mentioned, http://www.shadownessence.com/forum/style_emoticons/Shadownessence/teu42.gif

Furthermore while he is a master of illusion and tricks of the mind, he is accustom to more... human minds. Probing and comprehending the depths of an alien mind is a daunting task, much less finding something in there to use against them. Their neural pathways (assuming whatever biological process that gives them their intellect has the equivilant of neural pathways) would quite literally be like nothing he had ever seen before. Any number of his trickeries of probably would not work against a being that has a completely different cognitive function. He just can't find the places to trick! However the sentient denizens of this world would probably be a little better at figuring out the unfamiliar. Let us not forget that in the original design for the Dark Crystal (which was changed at the last minute) all the races would each have their own language, while speaking their own when dealing with them. As Alummette can demonstrate though, being a veritable polygot isn't necessarily an alien trait. But let's not forget the scene with Jen in the podling village. He didn't know their language, but he adapted quickly. Within minutes his stature was the only thing out of place, all without having finished figuring out their language yet. Neither side of this war will know what the other is doing or thinking, but the natives will have far less confusion in the matter. >:]

Lastly in this, any prisoners the skesis take will have their life essence drained. Goblin life essence may not work that well for them given their different biology, but energy is energy. Every loss for the Goblin King will be his enemies' gain.

So ultimately the war is at a standstill. Neither side can go on the offensive without taking a pretty much fatal handicap, and would require some extreme means to do so. So in the end they'll be limited to name calling across the distance of stars, always yelling at each other and saying "WHAT?" since neither side has any idea what the other is saying. :P

[WingedAvenger]

Anybody want a peanut?

:notme:

[Dynamo-Man]

Anybody want a peanut?

:notme:
GAAHHH!!!

[sheld0n]

DogeyOBogey (23:22:26): by the way, in the Labrynth thread on Guru, go ahead and tell Wids that the Skesis DID have minions
DogeyOBogey (23:22:34): they were these big hulking crab warrior things
DogeyOBogey (23:22:54): also
DogeyOBogey (23:23:14): the Skesis sent out various minions and experiments to torment to the other races of their world
DogeyOBogey (23:23:18): and to bring back slaves
DogeyOBogey (23:23:26): from which to draw the essence out of
DogeyOBogey (23:24:02): so next time He/She whoever it is, wishes to start a war between the Goblin Kingdom and the world of the Dark Crystal, it would be best to have all the facts lined up

Don't ask me what the hell all this means... :sarcasm:

[Stalking Shadow]

Filthy pagan! *p-tooie*

I think the term is "normal"

As in, "Let's go dress up in capes to go freak out the normals."