AfterglowNoMore
05-17-2005, 11:35 PM
(OOC: Ok, just to let anyone kind enough to read this, that if you haven't read some of my older stories, you won't get some of the inside jokes. And there are some jokes that no one wil get as I haven't finished the stories, or written them yet. From this point on, almost any new story that I post will be part of this thread, and may continue on in this thread. I do plan on finishing the other two stories already in progress don't worry about that, and that will help clear up some things in this thread. Hope you enjoy reading this.
Also to make reading easier here is a key to who is speaking:
Chester Jenkins/Humor
Kirby Waye/Epilogue
Warren Bellows/Cadaver
Cliffton Jacobs/Parrot Man
Captain "Cap" Bourbon/Happenstance
Aaron Shamrock/???)
“It’s Friday night again and that means that it’s time for our weekly tradition. Well, as much of a tradition as it can be for only having started eight months ago. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s poker night. Every week, a group of us gathers at Chester’s flat and we play a few hours of poker and discuss war stories. Just general unwinding from a long week. But I guess I should introduce everyone. On my left is Chester Jenkins, the media icon known as Humor, you should remember him from high school. He was the one who used to hold your head over the toilet and make you sing I'm a Little Tea Pot. Now he pimps himself out to a company called Primary Industries. He could do better, but he’s just never taken himself seriously enough to try too hard at anything. I’d say more, but this is his place and he has a tendency to throw hissy fits.”
“And pretty mean right hooks.”
“Yeah, too bad you never land any of them.”
“Hey, just because you’ve had a few changes, doesn’t mean that you’re not still my little brother and that I can’t still publicly humiliate you or savagely beat you.”
“You couldn’t beat yourself.”
“Yes I could… wait, that came out wrong didn’t it?”
“The person arguing with Chester is Kirby Waye, you might remember him from recent police videos.”
“I didn’t know he was a cop!”
“Didn’t he say, ‘'Please stop, I'm a cop, god this is the most savage beating of my life, no not in the crotch.’ ?”
“That’s what I heard too.”
“Shut up Chester, I may not have all of Jack’s memories, but I do seem to remember one time with you, a tutu, a poodle, and Madonna’s ‘Like a Virgin’.”
“Kirby and Chester’s relationship is complicated at best. I’ll explain it to you one of these days. That is as soon as I figure out the easiest way to tell it without my head exploding.”
“I could heal that for you, you know.”
"Don't you have to beat someone near to death before that power works?"
“That sack of rectal vomit is Cliffton Jacobs, Cliff for short. He’s a douche bag. Moving on…”
“I saved your life didn’t I? Go ahead and say yes you ungrateful turd.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that the falling debris wouldn’t have hit me. Supercharged luck and all.”
“Don’t remind me, it took us two months to figure out that you were cheating at cards.”
“It wasn’t cheating, I couldn’t help it. To cheat, I would have had to do something to directly affect the outcome of the game.”
“He’s right you know, we really should have caught on sooner.”
“And that is Warren Bellows, also known as Cadaver to those who know him. He’s, um, a, um, well…”
“I’m a zombie. You ever see the movie Blade? I’m basically to Zombies what he is to Vampires. All the strengths, none of the weaknesses, blah blah blah. Nice to meet you. Don’t worry, I don’t bite, unless the ladies ask for it.”
“As you can see, death doesn’t effect the libido. You know me, Captain Bourbon scribe extraordinaire…”
“You write comics, don’t glorify it.”
“Well that comic has Miramax looking to option the property thank you. And you’re just bitter that I refused to do the Humor comic.”
“It was a good idea!”
“Sure it was, just like your job during college of badger farming.”
“Ok, I’ll drop it if you don’t get into that again.”
“Fine. Guys, as you know, Spencer isn’t going to be joining us for a while, since he's dead again."
"Wait, if he's dead, how can you guys be so calm about it?"
"Spencer's an old school hero named Quick Draw, he was in the Liberty League back during WWII. He kinda dies all the time. Luckily, his metabolism always kick starts itself and he's normally back in a couple of weeks. Mostly looking like he's been binge drinking for a few months. We catch him up on what he's missed and go back to business as usual until he dies again."
"Hmm, maybe this hero thing is a bit much for me."
Nah, you'll get the hang of it. Besides, you seemed to do just fine last time we ran into each other."
"Cap, that was two days ago."
"So, you're still new at it. And as soon as you get a new name..."
"What's wrong with my name?"
"Tell everyone what it is and I'll let you guage the reactions."
What's wrong with the name Magic Fingers?"
"Wow, Magic Fingers? Really? What do you do, massage the villians into submission?"
"Just out of curiousity, do you get hit on by as many guys as Chester does?"
"For the last time I'm not gay. Hell, my fridays used to be poke her night as opposed to poker night. The gay comments are just rumors."
"He's right, and I should know, I started most of them."
"Why you little!"
"Ok, fifteen minutes. Who had fifteen minutes in the fight pool."
"Fight pool?"
Yeah, each week there ends up being at least a little bit of horseplay, we normally place bets on when the first fight will end up breaking out."
"Yeah, and here's the surprise of the century, normally, it involves Chester and Cliff. And I had tweny five minutes, anyone got that beat?"
"Does any actual poker take place around here?"
"Yeah, sometime after Chester finishing bandaging his wounds normally."
"Couldn't you just heal him?"
"Yeah, but then he'd never learn anything. By the way, I didn't catch your name."
"Oh, it's Aaron Shamrock, formerly known as Magic Fingers."
"So what's your story kid?"
Also to make reading easier here is a key to who is speaking:
Chester Jenkins/Humor
Kirby Waye/Epilogue
Warren Bellows/Cadaver
Cliffton Jacobs/Parrot Man
Captain "Cap" Bourbon/Happenstance
Aaron Shamrock/???)
“It’s Friday night again and that means that it’s time for our weekly tradition. Well, as much of a tradition as it can be for only having started eight months ago. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s poker night. Every week, a group of us gathers at Chester’s flat and we play a few hours of poker and discuss war stories. Just general unwinding from a long week. But I guess I should introduce everyone. On my left is Chester Jenkins, the media icon known as Humor, you should remember him from high school. He was the one who used to hold your head over the toilet and make you sing I'm a Little Tea Pot. Now he pimps himself out to a company called Primary Industries. He could do better, but he’s just never taken himself seriously enough to try too hard at anything. I’d say more, but this is his place and he has a tendency to throw hissy fits.”
“And pretty mean right hooks.”
“Yeah, too bad you never land any of them.”
“Hey, just because you’ve had a few changes, doesn’t mean that you’re not still my little brother and that I can’t still publicly humiliate you or savagely beat you.”
“You couldn’t beat yourself.”
“Yes I could… wait, that came out wrong didn’t it?”
“The person arguing with Chester is Kirby Waye, you might remember him from recent police videos.”
“I didn’t know he was a cop!”
“Didn’t he say, ‘'Please stop, I'm a cop, god this is the most savage beating of my life, no not in the crotch.’ ?”
“That’s what I heard too.”
“Shut up Chester, I may not have all of Jack’s memories, but I do seem to remember one time with you, a tutu, a poodle, and Madonna’s ‘Like a Virgin’.”
“Kirby and Chester’s relationship is complicated at best. I’ll explain it to you one of these days. That is as soon as I figure out the easiest way to tell it without my head exploding.”
“I could heal that for you, you know.”
"Don't you have to beat someone near to death before that power works?"
“That sack of rectal vomit is Cliffton Jacobs, Cliff for short. He’s a douche bag. Moving on…”
“I saved your life didn’t I? Go ahead and say yes you ungrateful turd.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that the falling debris wouldn’t have hit me. Supercharged luck and all.”
“Don’t remind me, it took us two months to figure out that you were cheating at cards.”
“It wasn’t cheating, I couldn’t help it. To cheat, I would have had to do something to directly affect the outcome of the game.”
“He’s right you know, we really should have caught on sooner.”
“And that is Warren Bellows, also known as Cadaver to those who know him. He’s, um, a, um, well…”
“I’m a zombie. You ever see the movie Blade? I’m basically to Zombies what he is to Vampires. All the strengths, none of the weaknesses, blah blah blah. Nice to meet you. Don’t worry, I don’t bite, unless the ladies ask for it.”
“As you can see, death doesn’t effect the libido. You know me, Captain Bourbon scribe extraordinaire…”
“You write comics, don’t glorify it.”
“Well that comic has Miramax looking to option the property thank you. And you’re just bitter that I refused to do the Humor comic.”
“It was a good idea!”
“Sure it was, just like your job during college of badger farming.”
“Ok, I’ll drop it if you don’t get into that again.”
“Fine. Guys, as you know, Spencer isn’t going to be joining us for a while, since he's dead again."
"Wait, if he's dead, how can you guys be so calm about it?"
"Spencer's an old school hero named Quick Draw, he was in the Liberty League back during WWII. He kinda dies all the time. Luckily, his metabolism always kick starts itself and he's normally back in a couple of weeks. Mostly looking like he's been binge drinking for a few months. We catch him up on what he's missed and go back to business as usual until he dies again."
"Hmm, maybe this hero thing is a bit much for me."
Nah, you'll get the hang of it. Besides, you seemed to do just fine last time we ran into each other."
"Cap, that was two days ago."
"So, you're still new at it. And as soon as you get a new name..."
"What's wrong with my name?"
"Tell everyone what it is and I'll let you guage the reactions."
What's wrong with the name Magic Fingers?"
"Wow, Magic Fingers? Really? What do you do, massage the villians into submission?"
"Just out of curiousity, do you get hit on by as many guys as Chester does?"
"For the last time I'm not gay. Hell, my fridays used to be poke her night as opposed to poker night. The gay comments are just rumors."
"He's right, and I should know, I started most of them."
"Why you little!"
"Ok, fifteen minutes. Who had fifteen minutes in the fight pool."
"Fight pool?"
Yeah, each week there ends up being at least a little bit of horseplay, we normally place bets on when the first fight will end up breaking out."
"Yeah, and here's the surprise of the century, normally, it involves Chester and Cliff. And I had tweny five minutes, anyone got that beat?"
"Does any actual poker take place around here?"
"Yeah, sometime after Chester finishing bandaging his wounds normally."
"Couldn't you just heal him?"
"Yeah, but then he'd never learn anything. By the way, I didn't catch your name."
"Oh, it's Aaron Shamrock, formerly known as Magic Fingers."
"So what's your story kid?"