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MikeKAY
05-14-2005, 12:48 AM
A WEST NYACK, N.Y. MAN was found dead at his computer apparently the victim of trying to keep up with too many professional forums. Childress H. Wanamaker, 54, an account executive at a New York-based new media company, died of starvation according to the West Nyack coroner's office. Wanamaker's emaciated body was found by Loraine, his wife of 26 years, who told MediaPost she had been bringing her husband meals on plastic trays for weeks, but that he never took the time to eat them.

"He was glued to his computer 24/7," she said tearfully. "He was so afraid he was going to miss an opportunity to contribute a comment or start a discussion, that he just stopped eating." She added that Wanamaker's last words were "OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

Computer forensic specialists from SUNY at Cortland discovered that Wanamaker was subscribed to 48 different forums and networking communities including one apparently having to do with the elderly called "oldtimers" and another apparently limited to just 100 people. They also found that he posted a comment into one forum or another on an average of two per minute every hour of the day for the past seven weeks.

"He felt under terrible pressure to be part of the online community," said his son, Lucian, who says he tried several times to get his father's attention and lure him away from the computer. "The only time he even looked up was when I told him I had seen Dane Madsen trying to steal his car out of the driveway."

Police found what appeared to be an organization chart taped to the wall of Wanamaker's den with lines linking small photos of people unknown to the police including a Tom Hespos and an Adam Boettiger. Neither is considered a suspect in Wanamaker's death.

"Once, I thought I had him," said Lucian Wanamaker, "when I said that mom had made cookies, but half out of his chair, he just sat back down mumbling something about two Roman gods; I believe it was Jupiter and Atlas having some sort of titanic battle. 'Let them eat PIE,' he bellowed banging on his keyboard."

Computer forensic specialists reported that there was no order or continuity to Wanamaker's forum postings. "It looks like he just sort of randomly commented on whatever was in the discussion string at the time," said Stephen Hall, CUNY-Cortland adjunct professor of intemperate and impulsive behavior. "He let nothing go by unchallenged by his own point of view, nor failed to respond to any other community member asking for advice or a new job. This consumed not only 24 hours a day, but also, apparently, his physical health."

In what must be a record, Wanamaker was linked into to over 15,250 other community members, many of whom he exchanged notes with daily. He also contributed to 375 blogs and was expected to start an online column about the impact of interactive communications on health, when he died.

A virtual memorial service will be held online at a date to be determined.



Ahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahah... :lmao:
Link. (http://publications.mediapost.com/?fuseaction=Articles.showArticleHomePage&art_aid=29415)

Joe Schmoe
05-14-2005, 12:52 AM
*just about dies of laughter* :chuckle: *tries to think of something to say, but continues just laughing* :lol:

Oh man.. That's just... Oh dude that's so frickin hilarious

Stalking Shadow
05-14-2005, 01:43 AM
:lmao:
Please, please, please tell me that this is a hoax.

Noble
05-14-2005, 02:24 AM
I don't find this funny because it is most likely true about many many other people. Perhaps not as severe, but people are still glued to virtual reality with a passion that often puts real life on the sidelines. I have friends that are like that to a certain degree. Rather depressing really.

Krypto
05-14-2005, 09:26 AM
I don't find this funny because it is most likely true about many many other people. Perhaps not as severe, but people are still glued to virtual reality with a passion that often puts real life on the sidelines. I have friends that are like that to a certain degree. Rather depressing really.

Agreed.

Stupid character limits...

Poison
05-14-2005, 12:22 PM
In an evil way it's funny, but I can't really laugh. This guy was an addict and died thereof, but I wonder why his wife and son didn't kick his ass.

Solario
05-14-2005, 01:46 PM
That's totally a hoax.

She (his wife) added that Wanamaker's last words were "OK Picard, stick that in your pipe and smoke it..."

"The only time he even looked up was when I told him I had seen Dane Madsen trying to steal his car out of the driveway."

"when I said that mom had made cookies, but half out of his chair, he just sat back down mumbling something about two Roman gods; I believe it was Jupiter and Atlas having some sort of titanic battle. 'Let them eat PIE,' he bellowed banging on his keyboard."


A little entertaining, but still just a hoax.

Meltman
05-14-2005, 02:19 PM
Found this while doing a search on the subject:

"UPDATE: This is likely a hoax. I've tried Google and Yahoo searches, and a variety of online people-finder searches. I even employed Technorati. That I can neither find a listing for Childress H. Wanamaker in West Nyack, New York, nor any comments on the Internet linked to him is kind of the tale of the tape. Besides, what family would allow a man to die of starvation at his computer?! Anyway, it was quirky enough, I felt compelled to post it this morning"

That, and it's in the commentary section, not the news section.

MikeKAY
05-14-2005, 06:27 PM
Of course it's a hoax, it says "Warning: SatireAhead!" at the bottom of the page. I just figured it would be a bit of a buzz kill to call it a hoax from the beginning. :chuckle:

Stalking Shadow
05-14-2005, 07:42 PM
Still, well written, and hilarious.