What If No2: Kryogentic Goes To Kindergarten

[Krypto]

((Any comments get put in This Thread (http://www.cohguru.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2962). Written with permission from Druid. ))

*CRASH!*

A loud scream was followed by a thunderous smash. A small impish girl hovered in the sky above, grinning at a job well done. Flying down to claim her victory, she gazed at the building responsible for breaking her enemy's fall. An unfamiliar feeling came over her as she read the words "Paragon City Elementary School". She froze, unable to move as she looked down at the building below. "What...what is this?" Feeling a variety of bizarre emotions, fear, guilt, concern, and at least a dozen other emotions unknown to her, she flew through the large hole to see the result of her careless display of power.

As she hovered down, she looked around the room, covered in bricks and other debris, and her heart began to race, dozens of kids staring in horror, cowering in the corner of the classroom. "It's...ok, I'm not here to hurt anyone" she paused for a moment, looking for the right words to say. "Is everyone alright?" One of the kids pointed to the front of the class, two unconscious bodies piled atop each other, one of them belonging to her assailant, the other, belonging to a young woman, appearing to be in her 20s. As the girl began to open her mouth to speak, a large, elderly man rushed into the room.

"What in the world happened here, is everyone ok?!!!" He appeared as though he was about to have a heart attack, but regained his composure. He looked over at the impish girl beside him, "Do you know who was responsible for this??" he inquired. "Yes...I am responsible, I didn't think..." "Didn't think what? That you would be putting anyone in danger by causing the roof to cave in on their heads?! What's your name, young woman?" "Kr...Kryogentic..." She didn't know what to say, despite her dark nature, she couldn't help but feel saddened at what she had done. The old man realized how terrible she was feeling about the incident, and changed his tone. "Well, as long as it's over, I suppose we can go about our business, who can I contact about paying for these damages? Kryogentic replied "My insurance will take care of everything, here's their number, and if that's all you need, I'll be on my way".

"Not quite," the old man grumbled "these kids don't have a teacher, and seeing as how you were responsible for this, I think it's more than fair that you substitute". Kryo's facial expression quickly changed from apologetic, to an incredulous look of disbelief. "You're not serious?! No way, no no no, I don't do kids, I HATE kids!" "Well, I'd certainly hate to see a pretty girl like your self end up in the Zig for endangering the lives of countless children, injuring a bystander, and causing thousands of dollars worth of damage to the building. The way I see it, you've got two choices, either you can sit here and teach these kids, or you can have a little chat with the Bureau of Super Powered Affairs. Don't worry, it's not hard, these are Kindergarteners, it's not much work." Kryogentic let out a loud sigh and conceded with his demands. "Fine I'll do it, but as soon as I'm done, I'm out of here. I don't have time for this..."

[Krypto]

"Excellent! Well then, we'll just move everyone to the classroom across the hall, and lets see..." He fumbled around the debris and picked up a notebook a few other papers strewn across the floor. "Here's your lesson plan, just follow that and you should be fine, let me know if you have any problems." And with that, he motioned for the kids to follow him into the adjacent room, Kryo followed behind, sulking. Minutes later, Kryo settled herself into her desk, staring blankly at the notebook and scrambled papers on her desk. "So, do any of you little snots know what I'm supposed to be doing?" "Well, usuawy our teacher takes woll right now...but you intewupted that when you caused the whole woom to cowapse on her!" quipped a rather odd looking girl, black clothes, white hair, and...an eyepatch?! Kryo did a doubletake as she looked back at the girl. "Ok, fine then, where did she leave off?"

"Me!" a little boy shouted with enthusiasm. "And what's your name, kid?" Kryo asked. "Chawon!" the kid exclaimed with a big smile on his face. Or at least, what Kryo imagined would be a smile underneath the black and grey mask the kid was wearing. "What the hell kind of school IS this?!" Kryo wondered. Kryo began going down the list of names. "Comet Woman?" "Here!" "...Darknesse?" No reply. "Darknesse?" she repeated. "He's probably mad that we teased him and threw his ball on the roof" a well-spoken kid with bright red hair and a peculiar pair of black pants with red flames explained. "...and pushed him in the mud...twice" admitted a very dark, tan skinned girl with long blonde hair, and a bright pink outfit.

"Oh...kay..."

"Dione?"
"Here"
"Dy..Dynamo-Man?"
"Here!"
"Esbat?"
"You had me at hewwo, baby!"
"..."
"Fantasmo?
"Here"
"Frost Sampson?"
"Yo"

She continued down the list. "Imperial?" "Here" a deep, booming voice announced. Kryo looked up to see an old man with a large build, grey hair, and the largest grin she had ever seen. "You...you're not serious, right?" "No I am here I am learn smart today!" blurted the old man with a smile on his face that could only belong to a five year old boy...or that of someone with an intellect of a five year old. "I'm not even going to ask" Kryo said to herself. "Ok, next up...Krypto?" A well dressed kid raised his hand and began to speak but was quickly interrupted by an impatient boy wearing a bright blue and yellow outfit, and a mask fit only for a B-movie horror film. "Look, we're all here with the exception of 'Darkprincesse', can we hurry this up? I've got a photo shoot here in..." The boy looked at his wrist as though he were wearing a watch. "Five minutes".

Kryo looked in disbelief "a photo shoot? You're kidding right?" "No, Veikira's drawing my picture when you finish taking woll" Kryogentic sighed "Look, kid, you'll do what I tell you, ok? And we're going to be following the schedule, not drawing pictures, got it?" "...wook at the schedule" Kryogentic paused for a moment as she looked at the tattered schedule. "Ok, you know what, forget roll. I'll just mark you all here, and it looks like the schedule for today is Art. Go draw some pictures and crap." Kryogentic sighed and took out a crossword puzzle, tuning out the loud children as they went about their business.

"GIVE IT BACK!!" yelled a girl with a blood curdling scream. Kryogentic winced and her ears perked up. She raised her arm but quickly remembered where she was, she could not harm the children, no matter how annoying they were to her. "What is it?" she asked in a vicious voice. "K...Krypto stole my glitter marker!" "I did not! Sally's lying!" he refuted. The girl began crying, the sound of which began further irritated Kryo's ears. "Did you steal her marker, Krypto?" Kryogentic asked. "No, I didn't steal anything!" Kryo bent over and whispered in Krypto's ear, "Give the marker back to Sally or I'll tell your parents you were stealing pink glitter markers in class. I'll also tell the whole class that you have a crush on Sally." and with that, Krypto reached into his pockets and swiftly handed the marker back to Sally, apologized, and sat back down in his chair, shocked at how his teacher could possibly know his secret crush.

Kryogentic looked up at the clock and then back down at her schedule. She sighed, only two hours left. Two hours of listening to a bunch of squealing, crying, snot-nosed kids. "Ok, it's nap time, that means you get to stop bothering me for an hour while I finish my cross-word puzzle, got it?" She looked up only to find that the class was one step ahead of her, a bunch of sleeping bags sprawled across the floor, and a bunch of brats laying on the ground, sucking their thumbs. "Finally, some peace and quiet..."

[Krypto]

"Hmm, a seven letter word for 'a cross between a feline and a young woman', I wonder what that could be?" Kryo pondered. Her train of thought was derailed as she heard an all too familiar squeal. "Waaaaaahhh!!" cried the little girl. She ran sobbing, and buried her face in Kryo's shoulder. Kryo, pushed over the edge, screamed at her. "GO AWAY!! All you kids do is whine and cry!! Can't you just let me have some peace and quiet for ONCE?!" Kryo quickly realized what she had just done, and regretted it as the girl's cries got louder. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell! Please don't cry anymore!" Kryo began to panic, she couldn't take the screaming much longer. "What's the matter...Bree, right? Why were you crying?" The girl looked up at her and wiped her eyes. "I had a bad dweam!" she sobbed. "So, it was just a dream, you're alright now, aren't you?" Kryogentic said, trying to comfort the little girl. The girl started crying again. "I...I had a dream that Esbat was chasing me around and twying to kiss me!" Kryo looked puzzled. "That little monster? Esbat doesn't even like you, he's got a crush on Tarberetta over there." "Bu...but..." "There's nothing to worry about, you'll be fine". She scooted Bree back to her sleeping bag and no sooner than she got there, she was out like a lightbulb.

The rest of the day was hellish. The kids batteries recharged from their naps, they were running around the room playing tag, shooting spitwads, and throwing wads of paper across the room. Kryo being the recepient of many of them, including a rocket thrown by the semi-retarded 93 year old Imperial. Unable to keep control of the classroom, Kryo laid her head on the desk and her eyes began to water. She could take down the most powerful foes on Earth, but she couldn't keep control of a small group of five year olds. She had been defeated by these children, these little imps that smelled of baby powder and urine. This was worse punishment than anything she had ever endured. She began sobbing even more. And just as she began to feel as though all hope in the world was lost, a tiny little finger tapped her shoulder. "What is it??" Kryo wept. "Umm, Miss Kryo, it's time for us to go home now." Xanatos pointed out. "So, can we leave?"

Kryo looked at the clock, it was indeed time for them to go. She began smiling, and then started to laugh uncontrollably. This was something that Kryo had not experienced often, pure joy. And with that she dismissed the kids, and she began to dance towards the door. As she opened it, she came face to face with the principal. "I was watching you, and I must say you did a pretty good job, with the exception of that little outburst there." "Look, I did my job, I'm free to go right?" "Well, funny story there. Turns out one of our 3rd grade teachers went home sick, and it looks like we'll be needin' a substitute for the next four hours. Remember the deal, I'd hate to call up the BSPA and let them know what you've done..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Kryogentic screamed and awoke with a start. "Are you alright, honey?" asked a particularly deep voice. "Oh Xanatos! I just had the most terrifying dream ever!" she sobbed. Xanatos began soothing her. "It's alright, baby, I'm here for you. There's nothing to worry about now." "Oh Xan...hold me in your big, muscular arms." She moaned softly and laid her head down on Xanatos' muscular, hairy chest. She was safe at last...




















"Aiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!"
"Arrr, what's wrong, Cryo?" a familiar female pirate asked. "Hollis, I..." Cryogentic stammered. "Yarr, ye had that dream about Xanatos again, didn't ye?" "Yes..." Cryo responded. "Yarr well ye needn't worry about that, I'm here for ye". Cryo smiled, and embraced Hollis passionately. "You're right, thanks Hollis. I don't know what I'd do if I was into guys. Especially Xanatos, talk about gross!" The two girls giggled and laughed at the thought, and went back to bed. And had wild hot lesbian sex. All night long. Giggity giggity giggity!

[Krypto]

Credits:

Thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed the story.

Thanks to everyone who read and didn't enjoy the story, but actually put in the time to read it all.

Thanks to those that leave nice comments in the What If thread. :)

Thanks to all the Gurus I used in the story, I had a lot of fun writing this.

Also, thanks to Tophat for the Gurus as toddlers idea.

And finally, thanks to Druid for suggesting Hollis as Cryo's "life partner".

[Druid]

((Bastard =P))

[Eomatrix]

That was good, but very, very disturbing.