The Hideous Mistmatch Game

[Malibu Sally]

This game will take some imagination. After seeing all the nostalgia posted lately about the threads that debated who would win a fight between such-n-such and so-n-so, I dreampt up this variation.

I will post the names of a pair of combatants who will "face off" in combat. The match will be a hideous mismatch.(you will understand when you see the first pair of fighters)

What you, the next poster will have to do is come up with as plausable as possible scenario in which the underdog wins the fight. Sounds easy right? Once you post your scenario, you must then propose another set of combatants... remember, they must be grossly mismatched. The next poster will make the case for the underdog, and so on, and so on....

I hope this catches on.

Ready?

The first match is:
Everyone's favorite dark knight, Batman
http://www.fi-donc.nl/artwork/wb/CP1290%20Mythology-Batman.jpg

vs.

Paul Reubens.
http://www.narr8.com/Pictures/Paulr.jpg

Make the case for Pee Wee to beat Batman.(and keep it clean)
Oh yeah.. one more thing. Please make the case in more than one sentence. Use your imagination and come up with good story. Please. :D

[ChairLegOfTruth]

Okay.

Bruce Wayne goes to Gotham Comedy Showcase with a lady friend. Pee Wee is one of the comedians that night. Bruce laughs so hard he chokes on the olive in his martini and is rushed off to hospital. Pee Wee wins.

Following on from the Batman theme:
Gojira
http://www.redvicmoviehouse.com/images/poster/gojira.jpg
vs.
TV's Adam West
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/batman-c1.jpg

[Malibu Sally]

Godzilla dominates most of the match. Adam West is barely hanging on to life. One more of those heat/radiation breaths from Godzilla and Adam will be goner.

Then a stroke of genius! He grabs his TV sidekick, Burt Ward and makes him recite all the "Holy <insert word here>, Batman" lines he had in the TV show. Godzilla stands no chance. He is overcome with cheesy dialog and collapses into a heap(right on top of poor Burt Ward, too)

Adam West wins the match AND finally rids himself of that annoying sidekick!



Next up, we have:

The Destroyer of Worlds, Galactus
http://www4.ncsu.edu/~chking/fark/galactus.jpg


vs.


Noted Physicist, Stephen Hawking
http://plus.maths.org/issue18/editorial/racing_hawking.jpg

Make the case for Professor Hawking to win this match. :D

[Randomus]

Professor Hawking lures Galactus into a black hole with the promises of a rich, succulent, Atkins-friendly world on the other side of the "wormhole". Galactus is destroyed. Hawking wins.

Megatron:
http://game-brains.com/images/jan31_2005/link-megatron.jpg

VS Napoleon Dynamite:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2004/12/01/images/jon_heder_napoleon_dynamite_interview_top.jpg

[Meltman]

Megatron is beaten down countless times by Dynamite's ludicrously idiotic sayings, until he is at the point of surrender. Finally, out of desperation, Megatron calls forth Soundwave to record the teenager's voice and play it back to him. Dynamite can't take it anymore and jumps out of the building. The last words anyone heard Napoleon say were "Do I really sound like that?!?"

Megatron was the underdog, right?

Seriously, Megatron has fun taunting Dynamite by stepping on cars the teenager runs by. Napoleon Dynamite decides to try and become friends with the giant robot. (To avoid the squishing, you see.) He shows Megatron a picture he drew of a liger. Megatron's logic circuit overheats and his head catches on fire.

Spider-Man
http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/photopost/data/531/2spiderman-med.jpg

vs

Hong Kong Phooey, number one super guy.
http://www.tvparty.com/vgifs14/hongkongfooey.jpg

[Akamaz]

Spiderman (who I would consider the underdog since Hong Kong Phooey is "da bomb, yo") sneaks past Rosemary into the police headquarters and tells everyone "HEY! EVERYONE!!! HENRY THE JANITOR IS HONG KONG PHOOEY!" in their excitement, Sarge has a heart attack and Rosemary accidenlty chokes to death on her phone headset.

Loss of secret identity and everyone you know?= Teh LOSE!

Spiderman for teh winnzor!

ok, here';s one

Captain America


-AND-

A Wet Paper Bag.

[WingedAvenger]

Captain America heroically dives in through the window and hurls his star shield at the wet paper bag. It hits with tremendous force! The bag, being wet, and made of paper, doesn't seem fazed by the mighty assault. Amazed, Captain America closes for a melee attack. He grabs the wet paper bag and holds it high above his head, easily ripping it to shreds like wheat in a combine tractor. One of the wet pieces of the bag falls into Captain America's mouth (it was open because he was laughing at how easy it was to rip apart a wet paper bag). It becomes lodged in his throat, and he starts to choke. Unfortunately, Captain America was out sick on the day they taught performing the Heimlich manuver on yourself in special forces training. He falls over and chokes to death. The last thing he sees as he passes from this life is the tattered remnants of the wet paper bag on the floor, mocking him mercilessly in all its papery wetness.

----------

Superman
http://www-unix.mcs.anl.gov/~linderot/images/superman.jpg

Vs.

Corky
http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v123/bitchesbehos/corky-med.jpg

[Necra]

Corky follows Superman around town singing the ridiculous theme song: Life goes on.. oh ba dee.. oh ba doo... and soon after asks if he can be Superman's special little buddy. Not believing that there is actually a fan out there that is more annoying then Jimmy Olsen, Superman takes a Kryptonite shaped knife and plunges it into his heart, thus killing himself.

Hulk
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y182/yangjc048/1.jpg
versus
Paris Hilton
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y182/yangjc048/hilton_lead135.jpg

[Rottweiler]

Let's just say, as everyone on the internet knows, Miss Hilton can take a pounding and remain unfazed. Hulk eventually passes out from exhaustion. The victor declares, "that was hot."

The Voltron Lions Vs. Roosevelt Franklin
http://www.ghg.net/wduncan/voltron/3dvoltron.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/bruinmaximus/rf.jpg

[Meltman]

The guy with his hand up the puppet punches all of the whiney teens before they can get to the lions. He then goes and has a beer and watches wrestling.

God
http://arthistory.westvalley.edu/images/M/MICHELANGELO/GOD.JPG

and

Batman

http://www.comics-unlimited.com/downloads/wallpapers/batman-darkknight.jpg

Make the case for Batman winning.

[Akamaz]

HA! trick Question!1

Batman IS God

[Malibu Sally]

Hehehehe! Everyone knows that if Bats takes the time to prepare, he wins. God got lazy and Batman did his homework. Batman wins.

Next up, we have a battle of bald men.(no... Stan Walker is not a contestant in this one)


Scourge of the Universe, Ming the Merciless
http://www.saxonbullock.com/images/ming.jpg


vs.


Commandant of Luftstalag 13, Colonel Wilhelm Klink
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/colonel_klink.jpg

Make the case for Col. Klink to vanquish Ming.

[Akamaz]

Ming the merciless sends his minions across time and space tin an attempt to destroy Colonel Klink, and an epic battle ensues across the entirety of planet earth.

Meanwhile, Colonel Hogan is sticking a shank he had diguised as a teapot through ming the mercieless' black heart.

oh yeah, and Sgt Schultz says "I see nothink! Nothink!!


Wonder Woman and a Wonder Bra... you pick the underdog...

[Plasma Wisp]

Heroes For Hire

http://www.monkeylord.net/msl/h4hside.JPG

VS

Buncha Trekkies

http://www.flickfilosopher.com/flickfilos/dvdgiveaway/trekkies2Cap.jpg

[Plasma Wisp]

Oh, wait. I forgot one important thing.

IRON KITJIN!!!


(This user does not have any problem with asians or their use of broken english. The user likes asians and likes the dedication to learning a second language considering its one of the harder ones out there. But lets face it, all languages are hard.)

[Meltman]

Um, Plasma Wisp...you forgot to explain Akamaz's fight.

[Malibu Sally]

Uh.. plasma wisp, what Meltman said... AND your matchup dosen't have a clear underdog.. at least not to my eyes. Remember it must be a GROSSLY ONE SIDED match with an underdog everyone can spot from miles away. :p

[8 Ball]

The trekkies trick the HFH into a debate of whether "Enterprise" took place in the real Star trek universe or not, soon thereafter the HFH simply die of boredom :P.


http://cyberstore.decepticon-matrix.com/tf_universe_comic1_unicron.jpg
Unicron


Vs.



http://www.simonsays.com/assets/isbn/0689857829/C_0689857829.jpg
Woodstock :D.

[Malibu Sally]

Well, anyone familiar with Peanuts knows that Woodstock is not a mere bird. In fact he is a multitude of birds.(yes, there are some panels showing at least 10 'woodstocks') Unicron easily consumes vast quantities of Woodstocks, but there alway is more.... and more.... and MORE. Net result: Overconsumption, overloading, and just plain OVER! Woodstock(s) wins!

Next match:

Ghengis Khan and his hoards of Mongol conquerors
http://www.ozfactors.com/PICTURES/GREATPOWER/Ghengis%20Khan.gif


vs.


Screech
http://llamabutchers.mu.nu/archives/Screech.jpg

'splain please how Screech wins this one!

[Necra]

Genghis Khan and his horde come to Bayside High at the eve of prom night to conquer and pillage. Screech devises a new zit cream to help Zack and his other buddies remain zit free on the most important night of their lives. He offers Genghis and his army some of the cream but unknown to Screech, Genghis and his army are immediately allergic to the cream. Genghis and his army die from their allergic reactions. Screech was truly saved by the bell.

Robin the Boy Wonder and Teen Titans
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y182/yangjc048/4181_180x270.jpg

versus

Michael Jackson
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y182/yangjc048/coolmjackson.jpg
make ur argument that the underdog Michael Jackson wins the battle...

[8 Ball]

Hmmm, Michael invites the Titans to neverland, once there they soon realize his REAL intentions and run screaming (I could go in more depth but you get the picture :P)


http://www.foggydoggy.com/GHOSTBUST.gif
The Stay-puft Marshmallow man

Vs.

http://kekoc.com/mt/archives/billyraycyrus.jpg
Billy ray Cyrus :P


EDIT: Damned anglefire links :P

[Plasma Wisp]

The Staypuff Mashmellow appears and he's all happy and walkin. Squishin cars and whatnot, when out from a bar, walks Billy Ray Cyrus. His car is soon covered in sticky candy goo. Infuriated, he calls upon the thousands and thousands of Christan Rock enjoys all over the world to converge. Soon, the largest dance of Achey Breaky Heart spurs, causing Staypuff to dance along. He trips and impales his face onto a streetlight.

Kilowog
http://members.aol.com/whoclix/kilowog.gif

vs

Roberto Benigni
http://www.hollywoodcultmovies.com/assets/images/RobertoBenigni1.jpg

[Malibu Sally]

This is another case of "the opponent who just won't go away". Kilowog easily crushes Roberto Benigni multiple times yet he just won't go down permanently. Even the mighty Kilowog gets weary after a while and that's when RB strikes! Using his annoying accent and clowning ability, Begnini smites Kilowog mightily and takes the win.


Next up:


The "Disciple of Death", Thanos
http://www.newsarama.com/Marvel/THANOS_1.jpg


vs.


Inanimate carbon rod (from my favorite ever Simpson's episode)
http://matrix.netsoc.tcd.ie/~64ndhi/proctex/inanimate_carbon_rod.jpg

How does the rod vanquish Thanos???

[Randomus]

We join Thanos on a clear galactic night as he continues his quest to woo his beloved Death. This particular night, he has brought her a pot pourri made from the ashes of an incinerated solar system. Kneeling, he presents her with his gift.

"Beloved, I have brought you the comforting scent of genocide," he rumbles, unable to meet her eyes in his abashed anticipation. "Please accept this token of my love for you!"

Sighing distractedly, Death takes the bowl of ashes and sets it next to her throne. She stirs through it for a moment, and comes upon a strange, cylindrical object. "But what is this?" she asks, drawing a large Inanimate Carbon Rod from the ashes. "Oh, my," she says breathily. "This is a most handsome rod."

"My lady," Thanos says, beginning to panic. He won't fail again! "It must have survived the blasts that destroyed the solar system. Allow me to destroy it for you, and then we can... retire?" He attempts to waggle his eyebrow ridge, but succeeds only in altering his facial expression by two microns.

"No, no," Death says. "I thank you for this gift, good Thanos. Now, leave us. This young, hard, virile inanimate carbon rod and I have much to... discuss. Yes, it shall serve me quite well.," she all but cooed.

Thanos, struck dumb, rose from his knee. "You... you cannot be serious, my lady," he essays. "It's... it's an inanimate carbon rod! It could never love you as I do!"

"Begone, Thanos. Your pathetic begging is distracting me from my lover's gaze."

"No! NOOOO!" Thanos cried. "First Deadpool, and now an inanimate carbon rod! I cannot bear this any longer!"

With that, Thanos set himself on fire and jumped into a cosmic meat grinder.

http://chrisnolan.ca/photos_loc/Comics/Wallpapers/PopCultureShock_1/thumbs/tn__Doctor_Spectrum.jpg
Doctor Spectrum

vs.

Pinocchio
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00001QEE9.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

[Malibu Sally]

"I thank you for this gift, good Thanos. Now, leave us. This young, hard, virile inanimate carbon rod and I have much to... discuss. Yes, it shall serve me quite well.," she all but cooed.

No batteries required!!!! :naughty: :drool:

[Akamaz]

while Doctor Spectrum and pinnochio are squaring off, DC's lawyers intervene stating that Doctor Spectrum is an obvious rip off of The popular DC Character "Green Lantern" the legal battles go on for years and years, until Doc Spectrum dies of extreme old age. Pinnochio, made out of wood, does not age a day... Teh Pwwnxorz


Aquaman vs A shotglass full of water.

[Sun-Scarab]

While Aqau is ready to pounce on the lone shot of water, a ray of sun light reflects thru the glass powering up the light into a Laser which cooks aquaman into fish stix.

Galactus
http://www.lowfierce.com/galactus/gallery/images/galnova.jpg
VS.
Jar Jar
http://www.astrosurf.org/lombry/Documents/et-jar-jar.jpg

[Akamaz]

through much perseverence and several movies, Galactus chased down Jar Jar from one end of the universe to the other, until finally, during the battle of Yavin, Galactus found out that Jar Jar was hiding inside of the death star. Galactus sent forth his mighty power, crushing the heart of the power supply, and thus the death star, and Jar Jar, were Destroyed.


What... you thought that a fighter the size of an airplane took out something the size of a moon?



next up.


Tim curry Vs. Lamb Curry

[Sun-Scarab]

( I really thought jar jar was going to win that one)

[Akamaz]

( I really thought jar jar was going to win that one)


galactus never wins, so hence he is the underdog.


now, as the chairman would say... Curry Battle!

[Randomus]

Tim Curry eats the Lamb Curry and gets terminally explosive diarrhea. He is found by police a few weeks later, dead on the john, wearing his Rocky Horror outfit.

http://www.cinema.com/image_lib/3914_001_thumb.jpg
Neo vs. A Cricket
http://www.ceris.purdue.edu/napis/gif/ut-cricket.jpg

[Malibu Sally]

The cricket somehow gets into Neo's abode and keeps him up at night chirping. Neo hunts the cricket, but it goes silent before it can be found. This happens repeatedly. Neo eventually loses his sanity from lack of sleep and attacks and kills himself. Cricket wins.

Next match is a tag team event:

Dr. Doom
http://members.aol.com/doomscribe/Hrdoom.gif
AND

Satan
http://people.morehead-st.edu/students/kb/krbail02/satan.jpg


VS.


Patrick
http://www.holidayswithkids.com.au/images/spongebob/patrick.jpg
AND

Urkel
http://www.kellie-williams.com/fm/steve3.jpg

How do Patrick and Urkel win?

[Esbat]

Satan realizing that if Dr. Doom kills both Patrick and Urkel they will go to hell and annoy the sh!t out of him attempts to kill Dr. Doom. Doom, having none of this betrayl, zaps Satan back to hell but in the process killing himself and ascending to heaven leaving the little nerdboy going "Ooh wow a talking starfish" as he pokes at the pink thing with the odd chuckle.

Next battle!

http://members.aol.com/pseisen/countchocula/chocface.gif
Count Chocula

versus

http://www.stygiandarkness.com/images/art_darkphoenix.jpg
The Dark Phoenix

[Randomus]

The dork phoenix eats some Count Chocula, then angsts herself to death over the fact that it will go straight to her thighs. Then Cyclops dies too because he sucks.

A Spinosaurus
http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/ligans/dinosaurs/dc_card_spino3_big.jpg
vs
A Tongue Depressor
http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/189490/2/Tongue_Depressor.jpg

[Dr Jack Wolfe]

Tongue Depressor cleverly hides itself in the pocket of a time traveling human doctor which the Spinosauris attempts to eat. While Spino chews on tender human flesh the depressor lodges itself in Spino's throat and the giant dinosaur is choked to death by woody goodness. TD makes his escape as the Dino's last gasp blows it free.


Battle of the boards
Silver Surfer Herald of Galactus
Vs.
Jeff Spicoli, pothead surfer.